The Tourist Traps In Texas That Locals Can’t Stop Laughing At

Texas is known for its sprawling landscapes, rich history, and unique culture that attracts millions of visitors each year. But not all attractions in the Lone Star State live up to their billing. Behind the Instagram filters and travel brochures lies a collection of spots that have locals rolling their eyes while tourists flock in droves. These places range from overpriced oddities to underwhelming landmarks that somehow became must-see destinations.

1. Ripley’s Believe It or Not! in Grand Prairie

Ah, nothing screams “authentic Texas experience” like a cookie-cutter attraction found in tourist traps worldwide! The Ripley’s museum in Grand Prairie charges premium prices for exhibits that haven’t changed since your parents were kids. Locals particularly enjoy watching families drop $100+ to see the same weird artifacts they could view online for free.

The wax museum portion features celebrity figures that barely resemble their real-life counterparts. “Is that supposed to be Matthew McConaughey or a melting candle?” is a question frequently whispered by bewildered visitors. Even more amusing is watching tourists pose with these waxy abominations for social media.

Most Texans would rather direct you to the state’s genuine oddities – like the Cathedral of Junk in Austin or Prada Marfa – which are far more interesting and usually free.

2. The Magnolia Market at the Silos

Chip and Joanna Gaines transformed Waco from a city known for a tragic siege to a pilgrimage site for HGTV devotees. Locals watch in amazement as tourists wait in hour-long lines just to buy $40 candles and $25 wooden signs that say “Gather” or “Blessed.” The irony? Most Texans living in actual farmhouses don’t decorate them like Magnolia Market suggests.

The cupcake line stretches around the block on weekends, despite there being perfectly good bakeries nearby with no wait. Waco residents particularly enjoy spotting exhausted husbands trailing behind wives clutching shopping bags filled with overpriced home décor that will eventually end up in garage sales.

“Y’all drove from Oklahoma for this?” is the unspoken question as locals navigate traffic jams created by out-of-state license plates circling for parking spots near the hallowed grounds of shiplap heaven.

3. Cadillac Ranch

Standing proudly (or should we say rusting slowly) along Interstate 40 near Amarillo, this row of spray-painted vintage Cadillacs buried nose-first in the dirt somehow became an iconic Texas landmark. Locals find it hilarious that people drive hours just to see some graffiti-covered car butts sticking out of the ground.

What’s even funnier is watching tourists trudge through mud or bake under the Texas sun for the perfect selfie. The experience typically lasts all of 10 minutes – 5 minutes of actual viewing and 5 minutes of wondering, “Is this really it?”

Pro tip from Texans: If you must visit, bring your own spray paint, take your obligatory photo, and move on to something actually interesting – like literally anywhere else in Amarillo.

4. The Big Texan Steak Ranch

Nothing says “authentic Texas” quite like a gaudy yellow building with a giant cowboy statue outside. The Big Texan Steak Ranch in Amarillo lures tourists with its famous 72-ounce steak challenge – eat it all in an hour and it’s free! Meanwhile, locals chuckle at the mediocre quality of overpriced meat served with a side of Texas stereotypes.

The restaurant’s interior looks like a Texas-themed amusement park threw up inside, complete with gift shop selling every imaginable cowboy trinket. Watching sunburned tourists in newly purchased cowboy hats struggle through massive steaks provides endless entertainment for the occasional local who wanders in.

The real kicker? Most Texans prefer their neighborhood barbecue joints where the meat is better, the prices lower, and nobody’s wearing a bib.

5. The San Antonio River Walk…During Summer

While genuinely beautiful and historically significant, the River Walk transforms into a sweaty tourist conveyor belt during summer months. Locals find endless amusement watching sunburned visitors pay triple the normal price for Tex-Mex while mariachi bands play the same three songs on repeat.

The narrow walkways become human traffic jams as tour groups, wedding parties, and confused families all try to navigate while taking selfies. Even more entertaining is watching tourists on river barges getting the full experience of Texas heat while trapped on a slow-moving boat with no shade, listening to guides recite scripted jokes that haven’t changed since 1985.

San Antonians know the real move is visiting in December when the Christmas lights are up, the temperature is bearable, and you can actually walk without bumping into someone’s selfie stick. Or better yet, exploring the city’s authentic Mexican markets instead.

6. The Sixth Floor Museum Gift Shop

Nothing says “respectful commemoration of a national tragedy” quite like selling JFK bobbleheads and assassination-themed souvenirs! The Sixth Floor Museum itself is a thoughtful, educational experience about President Kennedy’s assassination. The gift shop, however, is where taste and decorum go to die.

Dallas residents cringe watching tourists load up on tacky merchandise after viewing the solemn exhibits. “Did you enjoy learning about this pivotal moment in American history? Great! How about a commemorative shot glass?” seems to be the unspoken sales pitch. Even more baffling are the visitors who skip the actual museum but spend an hour browsing the gift shop.

Most locals recommend visiting the museum for its historical significance but suggest you keep walking when you reach the exit – unless you really need a conspiracy theory book and JFK refrigerator magnet to remember your visit.

7. Buc-ee’s (Yes, We Said It)

Texans have a love-hate relationship with the beaver-mascot mega gas station, but we’re baffled by its status as a tourist destination. Out-of-staters actually plan road trips around Buc-ee’s locations, sometimes driving hours out of their way just to experience a glorified convenience store with clean bathrooms.

The comedy gold happens at the entrance, where tourists take selfies with the beaver statue like they’ve met a celebrity. Then they proceed to buy everything with a Buc-ee’s logo – shirts, mugs, keychains – proudly displaying their gas station merch as if it’s a luxury brand. Meanwhile, locals just need to grab some beef

jerky and use the bathroom.

Don’t get us wrong – we appreciate the clean facilities and wide selection. But watching someone plan their entire Texas vacation around visiting a gas station chain? That’s when we can’t hold back our laughter.

8. The Original Southfork Ranch

For those born after 1990, “Dallas” was a hit TV show about rich Texans, not just a city. Southfork Ranch, the setting for this 1980s soap opera, continues drawing international tourists despite the show ending decades ago. Parker residents find it hilarious watching visitors from Japan and Germany excitedly tour a modest ranch house that most modern Texas suburbs would consider starter home size.

The tour guides dramatically point out J.R. Ewing’s bedroom as if showing the tomb of a pharaoh. Meanwhile, actual Texas ranches – many thousands of acres larger with genuine historical significance – sit unvisited nearby. The gift shop sells cowboy hats and “Who Shot J.R.?” memorabilia to people who weren’t even born when the question was relevant.

Most amusing is overhearing disappointed tourists realize the interior scenes were filmed on Hollywood sets, not in this underwhelming house.

9. The Giant Roadside Attractions of Interstate 35

The stretch of I-35 between Dallas and San Antonio hosts a bizarre collection of oversized roadside attractions that somehow became must-see stops. There’s the 12-foot caterpillar in Italy (Texas, not the country), the enormous Czech Stop kolache in West, and various other “World’s Largest” claims of dubious authenticity.

Locals get a kick out of watching car loads of tourists pull over for photos with these roadside giants, often risking life and limb crossing highway access roads for the perfect shot. The best part? Hearing visitors proudly announce they’ve seen “the real Texas” after posing with a fiberglass jackalope.

These stops typically follow the same pattern: park, take photo, buy something from the adjacent gift shop, leave. Meanwhile, actual Texas heritage sites and natural wonders sit just a few miles off the interstate, blissfully uncrowded and authentically Texan.

10. The “Marfa Lights Viewing Area”

The mysterious Marfa Lights have fascinated Texans for generations. Equally fascinating to locals, though, is watching tourists stand at the official viewing platform, squinting into the darkness and convincing themselves that distant car headlights are paranormal phenomena. “Is that one? No, wait, that’s just a truck on Highway 67.”

The viewing area itself is essentially a glorified roadside rest stop with a few information panels. Yet it draws ghost hunters, UFO enthusiasts, and influencers hoping to capture supernatural content for their followers. Most leave with photos of blurry light smudges and tales of alien encounters that were actually just Border Patrol vehicles in the distance.

West Texans particularly enjoy the tourists who arrive expecting a scheduled light show, as if mysterious phenomena adhere to visitor center hours. “What time do the lights start?” is a question that never fails to produce eye-rolls from Marfa locals.