Oklahoma’s Bizarre Bans: The Myths And The Misinterpreted Laws Tourists Think They’re Breaking

Oklahoma has earned a reputation for some truly head-scratching laws that leave tourists wondering if they’ve accidentally committed a crime.

From whaling in a landlocked state to kissing for too long, these bizarre bans sound absurd, but are they real?

Most of these so-called laws are either myths, misinterpretations, or outdated ordinances that have been twisted into urban legends over time.

1. Whaling is Illegal in Oklahoma

Tourists often laugh at the idea that Oklahoma, hundreds of miles from any ocean, has a law against whaling. However, this isn’t actually a specific statute targeting cetaceans in the plains.

The confusion stems from broader wildlife protection laws found in Title 29: Game & Fish. These regulations prohibit hunting or killing any threatened or endangered species, which includes most whale species worldwide.

You can’t hunt whales in Oklahoma for the same reason you can’t hunt Bengal tigers or pandas—they’re federally and globally protected. The law isn’t bizarre; it’s just comprehensive conservation.

2. Taking a Bite Out of Someone’s Hamburger is Illegal

Stories circulate about a specific Oklahoma law making it illegal to bite someone else’s hamburger. Sounds ridiculous, right? Well, there’s no hamburger-specific statute on the books.

What actually exists are general laws against assault, battery, and petty theft. Taking someone’s food without permission legally qualifies as battery, unwanted physical contact with an object connected to a person, or larceny.

This applies to pizza, tacos, or any food item, not just burgers. The myth likely originated from creative interpretations of these broader legal principles by local publications or word-of-mouth exaggeration.

3. Making Ugly Faces at Dogs Can Get You Fined

Ever heard you could be fined for making a funny face at a dog in Oklahoma? Before you start practicing your poker face around pooches, understand the real story behind this myth.

Animal welfare laws do prohibit tormenting, provoking, or inciting animals to aggression. If your facial expression appears threatening to a dog, mimicking a snarl or aggressive posture, you could technically violate these statutes.

The law isn’t about protecting canine self-esteem or aesthetic sensibilities. It’s designed to prevent animal cruelty and ensure public safety by discouraging behavior that might provoke dangerous reactions from animals.

4. Women Need a License to Do Their Own Hair

One of the most persistent myths claims Oklahoma women need a state license to style their own hair. Imagine getting arrested for trimming your bangs at home!

This misconception originated from broadly worded cosmetology and barber licensing laws. These regulations were designed to prevent unlicensed individuals from operating commercial hair salons and charging customers for services.

Nobody enforces these rules for personal grooming at home. The law targets business operations, not your bathroom mirror haircut sessions. Women, and men, can style their own hair freely without fear of legal consequences or licensing requirements.

5. Spitting on Sidewalks is Prohibited

Unlike many myths on this list, sidewalk spitting bans are genuinely real in cities like Tulsa and Oklahoma City. But why would such a specific law exist?

These ordinances date back to the early 1900s when tuberculosis and other diseases spread through saliva posed serious public health threats. Boomtown officials enacted these measures as standard sanitation practices to protect their rapidly growing populations.

While rarely enforced today, these laws remain on the books. They weren’t bizarre when created—they were practical health interventions that helped control infectious disease transmission in crowded urban environments.

6. Fish in Fishbowls Cannot Ride Public Buses

Oklahoma City’s municipal code does indeed restrict fish-in-bowl transportation on public buses. Before you accuse lawmakers of targeting innocent guppies, consider the practical reasoning.

This ordinance falls under broader regulations governing pets, animals, and carry-on items on public transportation. The concern isn’t about fish rights but about preventing spills, messes, and potential hazards to other passengers.

Sloshing water, broken glass, and disrupted commutes motivated this rule. It’s a logistical safety measure, not an anti-aquatic conspiracy. Your goldfish can stay home or travel in a secure, spill-proof container instead.

7. Vehicles Must Be Tethered Outside Public Buildings

Did lawmakers really expect you to tie down your Honda Civic like a Wild West horse? This myth stems from genuinely old ordinances that have either been repealed or misunderstood.

When these laws were written, “vehicle” meant horses, wagons, and carriages, the primary transportation modes of territorial Oklahoma. Tethering prevented loose livestock from wandering through town and causing chaos or property damage.

As automobiles replaced horses, the practical application disappeared. Some municipalities may still have these archaic statutes buried in old code books, but they’re completely unenforced and irrelevant to modern motorists parking their cars.

8. Cowboys Cannot Wear Boots to Bed

This widely cited “law” ranks among the most famous Oklahoma myths, yet no actual statute regulates bedtime footwear choices. Zero documentation exists in state or municipal codes.

The origin likely traces to old jokes, tall tales, or pranks that somehow migrated into “weird law” compilations and internet lists. Once published, the myth gained credibility through repetition despite lacking any legal foundation.

Cowboys, and everyone else, can wear whatever they want to bed without legal consequences. Boots, spurs, hats, or full rodeo gear are all perfectly legal sleepwear choices in Oklahoma and everywhere else in America.

9. Adultery is a Felony Punishable by Five Years

While tourists assume all “moral” laws have been repealed, Oklahoma statute 21-871 genuinely classifies adultery as a felony carrying up to five years imprisonment. This isn’t folklore, it’s current law.

Enforcement is extraordinarily rare in modern times, but the statute remains valid. Many visitors wrongly believe such laws exist only in history books, making this one of the few “bizarre” bans that’s actually real and legally binding.

Though prosecution is unlikely, tourists shouldn’t dismiss this as mere legend. Oklahoma maintains this serious criminal statute, distinguishing it from the many myths and misinterpretations that dominate weird law lists.

10. Kissing Longer Than Three Minutes is Illegal

Set your timers, lovebirds, except you don’t need to, because this law doesn’t exist. Despite widespread claims, no Oklahoma statute limits public displays of affection to three minutes or any timeframe.

This urban legend appears in weird law lists for multiple states including Indiana and Iowa. It likely originated as a humorous moralistic anecdote or satirical commentary that was mistakenly recorded as fact.

Extensive searches of state and local ordinances reveal zero evidence supporting this claim. Couples can kiss as long as they want without breaking any Oklahoma law, making this another persistent myth tourists worry about unnecessarily.