When it comes to our annual family trip from Texas to Colorado, my dad doesn’t believe in modern technology. No Ipods, no airplanes. No TV in the car. Cell phone for emergencies only.
I’m surprised we actually even use an automobile, given that I’m sure somewhere ’round these here parts we could rent us a fine team of horses and a conestoga wagon.
“We drive,” Dad says, “so we can talk.”
Boy, do we. Every summer for the Fourth of July, we throw a couple of pillows in the backseat, make sure Tony goes to the bathroom twice, load up a cooler with juice and apples and granola bars (the resolution on these trips is always to eat healthy; it’s like we experience the exhilaration and disappointment of New Year’s Day twice an annum!) and hit the road for a 13-hour gabfest.
We drive. And we talk.
It’s a chance for two teenage boys to be heard above the din of school hallways and TV commercials. We talk about everything. Girls. School. Friends. Ambitions. Dreams. Dad’s a smart guy; an Elton John song, a Hispanic billboard, everything is fodder for discussion. When we stop for gas, and he’s nice to the forlorn slacker working the cash register, he makes sure we notice — his niceness, and the slacker’s forlornness. “That’s what can happen to a guy if he doesn’t go to college,” Dad will say.
We drive. And we talk.
North on I-35 from Dallas. Through Oklahoma City. And then Dad’s system really kicks in. With our own technological tools, how easy would it be for three guys to simply retreat into their own shells, into their own caves, into their own dark worlds? Two headphones and seven Will Ferrell movies and we’d cut through America’s Breadbasket without even knowing it was there!
So, we drive. And we talk.
My parents got divorced nine years ago, and it was exactly nine years ago when we started the tradition of this trip to go see Dad’s family. I now understand that the reason we go is because we’re divorced. Dad’s giving us roots. Once we get there, he gives us his family. On the drive, he gives us himself.
Ask my little brother to name one notable thing that’s happened to us on our annual road trip, the answer is the same: The Story of The Halfburgers. We break that eat-healthy vow soon enough, the temptation of the red-and-yellow-and-brown -and-orange restaurant signs magnetically tugging us up the exits ramp.
“Fast-food restaurants are always those colors,” Dad says, even trying to transform a milkshake pang into an educational experience. ‘There was a study that showed that warm colors make you feel hungry.”
“A hundred hamburgers, please!” says my brother, who is more hungry than he is funny. Dad modifies the order by 94, and we’re served. Fast food! Hot burgers! Big square patties! Delicio…
“Hey! What the *@#%!”
Dad doesn’t swear. Unless he really means it.
“Hey! What the *@#%!”
Tony doesn’t swear, either. Unless Dad gives him an opening.
I unwrap my hamburger to discover the horror: The fast-food-hot-burgers-big-square -patties-deliciousness had been cut in half. Amputated by 50 percent.
“We gotta go back!” I wail. “That’s a ripoff! These things aren’t hamburgers! They’re… they’re… halfburgers!”
But Dad keeps driving. And we get to talking about “rip-offs.” And expectations. And disappointments. Love. Divorce. Parenthood. Life.
And we listen. Laugh. Offer our ideas. Share stuff. We drive. We talk. And somehow, we get full on halfburgers.
Dear Reader: This page may contain affiliate links which may earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase. Our independent journalism is not influenced by any advertiser or commercial initiative unless it is clearly marked as sponsored content. As travel products change, please be sure to reconfirm all details and stay up to date with current events to ensure a safe and successful trip.
1 Reply to “The Halfburger Trip”
Comment on this article
This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
I like the helpful info you provide in your articles.
I will bookmark your weblog aand check again here frequently.
I’m quite certain I’ll learn plenty of new stuff right here!
Good luck for the next!
Hi there! Would you mind if I share your blog with my facebook group?
There’s a lot of people that I think would really enjoy your content.
Please let me know. Many thanks
We absolutely love your blog and find most of your post’s to be just what I’m looking for.
Do you offer guest writers to write content
for yourself? I wouldn’t mind writing a post or elaborating on many of the subjects you write concerning
here. Again, awesome site!
Essential bags: Remember to bring commonly used medicines, prescription medicines, motion sickness medicine, cold medicine, wound closures, etc.
Thanks for sharing
Very nice article. I certainly love this site.
Contine the good work!
Wow, Fran Falkin’s pet travel tips are a lifesaver! ? Planning our pet-friendly vacation has been a breeze thanks to these insightful tips. We followed tip #2, and now our fur baby practically loves their carrier, making our journey stress-free. Plus, we found a cozy hotel that welcomes our pet, so they’re enjoying the adventure just as much as we are. Thanks, Fran, for turning our pet travel worries into tail-wagging excitement!
Hey There. I found your weblog using msn. That
is a really smartly written article. I’ll make sure to bookmark it and return to learn more of
your useful info. Thank you for the post. I will certainly
comeback.
i wish i was chinese
I am genuinely pleased to read this weblog posts which includes plenty
of helpful information, thanks for providing
these kinds of statistics.
Greetings! Very helpful advice in this particular
article! It’s the little changes that will make the biggest changes.
Thanks for sharing!
Explore the beauty of Sri Lanka with our family tours. Discover unforgettable experiences for all with Family Tours Sri Lanka. Book your adventure today with Sri Lanka Family Tours.
Great post.
Yes, recent trends suggest that Americans are regaining confidence in vacations and travel. As travel restrictions ease and vaccination rates increase, many Americans are showing a greater willingness to travel and explore destinations again. However, it’s important to stay updated on travel advisories and safety measures to ensure a smooth and enjoyable travel experience.
Reading Fran Falkin’s insights took me back to my first trip with Whiskers, my feline companion. The chaos of ensuring he was comfortable amidst the hustle of the airport was a lesson in patience. Had I come across these invaluable tips earlier, our journey would’ve been as smooth as a calm sea.
Thank you! I value it!
Great information. Cheers.
Very good write-up. I certainly appreciate this website.
Continue the good work!
I read your article on the Sheep of Sun Valley and I found it very fascinating and enjoyable. You have given a detailed and colorful account of your experience at the Trailing of the Sheep Festival, which celebrates the history and culture of sheepherding in Idaho. I think your article is a great way to introduce this unique and fun event to other travelers and families who are looking for a different and memorable adventure.
This is something new I saw on the internet today I want to thank you for writing such a great and helpful blog. I really appreciate your efforts.