For 2009, the winners of the Family Travel Forum Teen Travel Writing Scholarship were selected by professional writers and editors from the Society of American Travel Writers. They chose Kassandra Caudell’s essay “The Pennsylvania Hills” as the Third Place Winner.
What follows are comments from these esteemed judges about Kassandra’s work. The travelBIGO team thought that the whole community could learn something from what they had to say about a specific work. Their comments follow:
From Michael Verdon, Editor, Boating World Magazine:
“Hi Kassandra, you’ll probably get feedback from several other judges who also recognized the strength of the piece. Nice job. I like the fact that you didn’t have to go to Europe to find yourself, but instead found yourself in the hills of Pennsylvania through your extended family. Loved the picture reference of your great-grandmother. Very poignant. You really painted an exceptional and sympathetic portrait of Graysville. Great job.”
From John Macdonald, Travel Editor Emeritus, Seattle Times:
“When dour expectations turn delightful, there’s a story. At a dreaded family reunion, the writer went with the flow to find fascinating facts about her family — facts and personalities that turned to pride. Writer begins with an incident about using eggshells to measure milk, sets the fuller scene, then takes the reader with her on the journey through family time.”
More Comments from SATW Judges
From Kit Bernardi, Freelance Travel Writer:
“This was a joy to read, full of surprises and heart stirring emotions. Your lede was as good as they get and hooked me in instantly. I especially love the simple beauty discovered in learning ‘to measure milk in a half an eggshell…’ and that a teen realized that ‘…family reunions had possibility.’ The connection of the land’s typography to her great grandmother’s adventurous and colorful personality illustrated through vivid descriptions of the Pennsylvania rolling landscape works very well to tell us both about her spirited great grandmother IdaMae and the extended family connections, particularly between the grandmother and her younger sister. Kassandra gives her grandmother a larger-than-life quality akin to a tall tales character and conveys mysterious country folk know-how (e.g. the farm animals body build with the front legs shorter than the back so they can stand on a at a tilt). All this puts the reader right in the historic hills wandering among the tombstones, rolling dough and riffling through old photos.
“Kassandra doesn’t mask her dislike at spending time with ‘dull old people,’ a typical teen response. I liked her honesty about this. But she lets her stomach win her heart as the smells from the hall remind her that dull old people can cook gooseberry muffins and ‘Blue Boy Bait.’ Sentence syntax and length variation affective. The beauty of this essay is in the simple language telling of simple acts of daily life and the teen’s realization that they are what life is about, no matter what generation you are part of — the acts of kneading dough, measuring milk in an eggshell, listening to elders tell stories of times and people passed and watching crawfish squirm, perhaps in the same spot as IdaMae ‘… wondering at what life had to offer.’ This wondering spans generations and is a question we as humans ask despite our age and experience.
“Recommendation: Lose the last sentence. End the essay right there, with Kassandra and her sister on the bridge observing the same critters IdaMae may have on a bridge (a strong image for this essay about bridging generations). It is the spot where the characters and the reader unite, where the past, present and future culminate in a single simple act.”
To see more general judge’s comments on what makes an travel essay a winner, read the thoughts of Roger Rapoport, the publisher of RDR Books, in Professional Editor Shares Tips On What Makes a Great Essay.
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A destiny I will never forget.
This was by far, the best vacation I have ever been on. I hope be awarded the scholarship so that I can go on to college, graduate with honors, and get a great job so that one day I can show my family what a great place Yellowstone National Park is. Thank you for considering my application!
I hope you enjoy my essay. Thank you for your time.
My favorite city so far!
It's such a beautiful place!
my trip.
Hey Everyone,
Thanks for checking out my blog. 🙂 I hope you enjoy.
With Much Appreciation,
– Zoe McDowell
hello
I have run short on space, yet I managed to squeeze in about 3/4ths of my trip.
Lordsburg and Demming are in New Mexico (I guess I should have edited that), and there are numerous other details I would have liked to have included….
If you're interested in traveling in my footsteps, I highly recommend the Togwotee Lodge and Resort, which is where we stayed during our trip.
While visiting Paris the summer I was fourteen, I was captivated my by its beauty. The city's rich culture, diverse people, and turbulent history fascinated me and captured my imagination. It was there that I discovered the wonder of adventure, and my never-ending love of Paris.
this is my actual scholarship submission. PLEASE DO NOT JUDGE THE PREVIOUS ENTRY. THIS IS MY SUBMISSION. THANK YOU.
This was the most incredible vacation ever! All my classmates who attended agreed and have remembered every memory from Washington D.C. Thank you School Tours of America and my special sponsors Mrs. Nobel and Mr. Fitch.
My trip to new york was wonderful. I even c reated a website to prove it.
http://nothinglikenewyork.shutterfly.com/
I almost did not go on this trip, worrying about what could go wrong, that summer would nearly be over when I returned, and how much it cost. But, I decided to take this trip to see a few of my German friends and their families, not knowing when, otherwise, I would see them again if I didn't take this opportunity. Now that I have returned home, I am very happy to have taken this trip.
My name is Inemesit Effiong.I am an avid reader and an ardent Colin Firth fan. I love outdoor activities, writing poetry, and volunteering. I have had the privilege of volunteering with several clubs like National Honor Society, Rotary Club, Interact Volunteer Club, and The Bridge Run. I enjoy watching Jeopardy with my father (mostly because of Alex Trebek) and I hope to pursue Nursing as a major. I entered this contest because I love exploring and I fell that my experience is very relatable, especially to teenagers my age, who would like to travel abroad, but lack the means or opportunity to do so.
This is a blog about my trip with my mother to New York City
I encourage you, go on a mission trip! You will never regret it. If anything it can help you to figure out your place in this world.
I raised money for this trip during the course of my Freshman year, first by a Bake Sale, which raised over $700, then by giving out poetry that I had written in exchange for donations. They expereince broadened me as a leader and created lasting friendships with other cultures.
This was my Italian experience. It was extremely fun and I can’t wait for the time when I get the chance to return.
Hope you enjoyed my essay! Just wanted to share my beliefs and personal experience. 🙂
Hopefully you can enjoy my post! It's what I believe and is my own personal experience. 🙂
My scholarship entry!
Im glad to share my families trip with you. I hope this inspires you to go on a trip with your family to Hawaii.
My vacation to Spain in general was one of the most enjoyable things I have ever done. The culture was rich and the archetecture was far more ornate than anything I've ever seen in the United States. I will defenately go back there some day if I am fortunate enough.
This particular blog was submitted as a scholarship essay to myfamilytravels.com, enjoy!
I truly am grateful for the wonderful opportunity I had to travel to Hong Kong for a month! I'll definitely think about living in Hong Kong in the future!
I hope people can read this travel blog and see for themselves how great the aftermath of war is. Because of war, these children have to suffer every single day. ):
This blog was very fun to write, it let me reevaluate what had happened during the trip and laugh about it once again. Maybe it will inspire someone else to do what what my family did and go through the indescribable little horrors that we all went through. Happy traveling!
If you have ever wondered what a BIG city is, than New York City is the place for you to go! i had a blast there! Check it out!!
I had alot of fun writing this essay.
Europe is a great place to visit!
it looks cool!
Here is my scholarship for the Teen Travel Writing Scholarship of my journey to Alaska!
My trip to London.
I discovered that I was a pretty good photographer while on this trip. I now take all the family vacation pictures!
My trip to Yellowstone was truly amazing! Yellowstone is a must-see for all nature lovers and hikers!
The wedding took place on August 6, 2011.
this was a wonerful trip with friends & family
My experience was amazing here!
My essay describes the emotional connection to the effects of a storm which would seemingly ruins a trip to Lake Michigan.
I wish I could have written more about Germany, but summing up a vacation such as that in only 600 words seemed impossible to me. I would have never guessed I would have learned so much about myself there. We did activitivities I would never seen myself doing in a million years. Many of the students that went on the trip I would not normally be friends with, but at the end of the day no matter how different we were from one another, we were all friends and family to eachother and still keep in touch till this day. I don't know when I will be able to go on such an amazing adventure again, but my advice to whoever comes across this is, if you have the oppritunity, take it. Even if you are apprehensive, take the risk because I'm willing to bet you will learn so much more.
Thank you all for reading this and best of luck to everyone who entered this contest!
We love going to the Hawaiian Islands. Maui was one of our favorites. Molokini Crater is just off of the Maui coast. I couldn't believe at the variety of fish we snorkeled with–we even glimpsed a reef shark! Snorkeling at Molokini Crater was a great experience and was the inspiration for this short essay.
This is my scholarship essay, please confirm that it has been entered. Thank you!
The reason for my visit to Nigeria was because of a death in my family. In the attatched picture, I am in the middle, surrounded by my family members as we walked toward the area where the ceremony was to be held. The whole experience of visiting Nigeria a third time (but as a teenager) opened my eyes and made me realize that there are things in the world bigger than just me and my problems, and it's my job to find a way to give back before time runs out.
This was my family trip to Missouri…never forget how important learning and family is.
I am a young international traveler interested in seeing the dynamics between different cultures acted out out not only through travel but through international relations on a global stage. Trips to Belize and across the world have cemented my belief that nations working together is for the good of everyone on earth.
I wrote this for the Scholarship writing contest.
This is my entry for the FTF Teen Travel Writing Scholorship!
I hope that everyone can learn a little about this unique country from my blog. There are so many more things I wish I could say, but space is limited!