The Journey to Thirty Miles Outside of the Middle of Nowhere

Last winter, my girls’ basketball team were very far from obtaining an undefeated season, but we knew how to prepare for long journeys to schools that were thirty miles outside of the middle of nowhere. We loaded onto the bus with chips, cupcakes, sodas (and now that I think of it, these probably weren’t the best snacks to gobble down right before a game). But I couldn’t help but sense that I had forgotten something, and looking at the extrememly large body of water under a bridge brought the forgotten necessity to my memory.

‘I didn’t go to the bathroom!’, I shouted while flinging my hands up into the air to emphasize the ‘duh’ moment. At that very moment, we drove right into traffic. For the next twenty minutes, due to my full tank, I had broke out dance moves that not even I knew I had (but even those moves that I know I have should probably stay hidden).

When we finally arrived to our destination, I rushed to the bathroom. Unfortunately, I failed to notice that the figure on the door of the restroom was not wearing a little dress, and my haste led me into a room full of guys who unsuccessfully attempted to cover their valuables. ‘Note: read, then enter.’, I uttered to myself with amazement and wide-eyes while walking into the women’s restroom.

The JV team, which included myself, played as hard as possible against their tiny but tough and, dare I say, lethal opponents. The girls from my team were flying, sliding, and slipping. It was a very exciting, exhausting, and painful game.

Although we lost, we declared ourselves winners for our truly outstanding effort as we do after every game. After the JV game, fans began flooding the gym for the Varsity game which is always full of excitement, but no one expected this game to be overwhelmed with so much drama. Because I was the scorekeeper of this particular game, I was in the center of all the commotion.

The excitement began when *Coach Lucy, my team’s varsity coach, accidentally stepped out of her designated ‘coach’s box’ to give an order. Most, including the referees, ignored the slip-up; however, Coach Lucy’s action enraged the scorekeeper from the opposing school. The scorekeeper stood, threw out a firm pointed finger, and yelled, ‘Get back in your box!’.

The entire gym fell silent as Coach Lucy responded ever so calmly, ‘Are you ok? Maybe you need to sit down and take some medication’. My mouth stayed agape for at least five minutes after the outrageous scene. Furthermore, the second half of the game had begun when the commotion increased.

I was shocked to see that the parents of the opposing team were the cause of all the ruckus. There was a huge banner on the side wall of the gym asking everyone to be respectable and kind during the games. When an opposing father called one of my teammates an insulting name, he had definitely passed respectable and kind. His behavior infuriated my teammate’s father, Mr. Jamison, so he proceeded to turn to the father and yell at him. He then called for the athletic directed and ordered him to ‘kick this man out of the gym or take down that banner because this man is not following the instructions of the banner!’. Finally, my teammate calmed down Mr. Jamison but only until they met outside after my team won the game. It took some extreme tugging and pulling, but we finally succeeding in separating the two fathers.

In one unforgetful day, I forgot the importance of using the bathroom before a long trip, the difference between a male and female figure, and the fact that both my school and the opposing school are Christian schools. Earlier that day, at three o’clock in the afternoon, we left our Christian school thinking that we were simply going to another Christian school to play a couple nice games of basketball. But as it turned out, we went to a totally different planet. This planet has little lethal basketball players, women who are very sensative about borders, and fathers who are quick to insult teenage girls. So now we know that things are different thirty miles outside of the middle of nowhere. *Names have been changed.