New York Rants

It’s was three weeks before school started. I found out my sisters and my cousin were planning to take a trip to New York — New Jersey actually — to where my uncle lives and where my grandma is staying. The reason we went was to visit my grandma before she left for Vietnam and to visit New York City.

I’ve lived in California my whole life and traveled to other states when I was about seven, but that was about it. Don’t get me wrong, I love California — great weather, great landscapes, what else is there to ask for? But visiting New York City, the city that never sleeps, how can I passthis up? I jumped at the opportunity.

We booked the tickets online a week before we left. The airplane trip was absolutely horrible. I was wedged between two heavy set men, one sleeping with a droopy head, a drop of drool almost hitting my shoulder. Gross. The other man was a bit jumpy and skittish like a zebra.

We arrived at Newark Airport and I walk outside. It’s pitch black outside and humid, almost like walking through hell. I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to put clothes on or take them off. We went to my uncle’s house in Roseland, New Jersey which was so hard to find.

He was away on a wedding so my sisters and I took a taxi to his house. Let me tell you, there were no street lights anywhere and the street signs were not visible. We were literally stopping at every block running outside of the car to peer at the signs.

Finally, we found the house, still hot and sweaty and gross. Why did I ever leave California? We eventually fell asleep even though I had such an enjoyable plane ride. When my uncle returned, he took us to a bus stop, the New Jersey transit to New York City because we planned to stay there a couple of days in a hotel.

Man, was I excited. I was finally coming to see Diddy’s city. I walked outside and saw hundreds of advertisements everywhere — billboards, posters, televisions — it was unbelievably gross. To top it off, there is probably one tree not counting Central Park, which is manmade so it doesn’t necessarily count.

I’ve never seen such a polluted area. The hotel was nice, but very cramped. It was probably the smallest hotel room I’ve ever seen. It doesn’t really matter to me at this point because there is glorious air-conditioning. I love the smell of fake air in the morning. It doesn’t last long because we tplanned to go to the American of Natural Science Museum and then the Lion King Broadway Show.

I loved the museum. I was most excited about the dinosaurs, of course, and to top it all off I saw Rev. Run. Yes Rev. Run as in Run DMC. I know it was him because I watch his show, Run’s House, and I was looking at his son, the same son that threw a tantrum at the bowling alley. I was so starstruck that my mouth was hanging open for almost five minutes, which was long enough for a fly to fly in and establish a settlement. It was the highlight of my life. Even though I didn’t talk to him, I was only five feet away from him and that was enough for me.

The Lion King show was spectacular. My favorite part was the people playing the grass. They would lie on their backs and shimmy their way to the other side of the stage. The singing was amazing, but the ticket price alone was enough to buy a flat screen TV.

The worst part of the trip was probably making the decision to go anywhere with my older sister. Big mistake. I think she’s the most selfish person I’ve ever met in my life. I would go to places she wanted to go — shopping of course — but when I suggested to go to the Bronx Zoo, she immediately shot it down.

She claimed that she already went to the museum with me and she shouldn’t be put through more torture of seeing more gross animals. At least, I don’t take five hours in one store to buy one simple t-shirt or nothing at all. At least, I don’t sit in my room giggling endless hours when other people have school tomorrow morning. Anyways ,we were discussing this as we were walking to go to the Empire State Building.

I was so mad that she wouldn’t take a cab. It was raining, it was still humid, and I had flip flops on. While I walked it would go slop, slip, flop. Nasty fart sounds. The Empire State Building was a joke — 20 bucks to get in and it was so crowded and the lines were extremely long. We didn’t end up going to the zoo, which bums me out a lot, but we did get to go to Junior’s, where P. Diddy made his Making the Band contestants walk to go get cheesecake. It was worth it! Delicious!