The Big Decision

Uncertainty….. Excitement….. Confusion…. Anxiety…..Optimism…. I was flooded with emotion as the Excursion idled into the vacant parking lot. My heart was pounding, and I wasn’t breathing. After a huge gulp of air, I refocused myself and tried to get control over my nerves. The car sat stationary, but it felt as if I was moving a hundred miles per hour. My mom turned around from the passenger’s seat, and it was as if she slapped me in the face. I came to the realization that the beautiful campus of Santa Clara University was staring back at me. I felt a dribble of sweat run down from my forehead, because in a couple of minutes I would be meeting with volleyball coaches. My thoughts were racing, and I replayed the vision of the meeting over and over again. I was sixteen years old, and I was about to make the biggest decision of my life. I was about to verbally commit to Santa Clara University to play volleyball. The whole recruiting process was getting too intense, and I felt like it would be best to finalize my decision.

Slowly, my hand slid over to the door handle. I felt like I was having an out of body experience as I opened the door and my feet hit the pavement. I walked in between my parents to the campus bookstore. As we were shopping, the head coach walked through the door. My stomach dropped ten feet, and I struggled to regain my mind set. He suggested that we follow him, and we started a campus tour. We walked by an unbelievable church, and we witnessed the monuments around the mission. The grass and landscaping were like nothing I has seen before. Everything was colorful, and the grass was clean cut and green. Some of the buildings looked like castles, and the new library seemed to be the size of the White House. We finally came up to the brand new gym, and walked into the coach’s office. I sat in a big chair across from his desk, and I was introduced to the two assistant coaches. I was trying so hard to make a good impression. The meeting consisted of conversation about how I loved the campus, and how I felt one hundred percent comfortable there. I was starting to loosen up, but then the conversation turned serious. We started discussing my SAT scores, and my chance to start as a freshman. I was starting to feel the pressure. I wanted to tell them that I was ready to commit, but I could not bring myself to say it out loud. The coach’s dialogue droned into a long humming sound as I tried to reassure myself that committing was the right decision. Finally, I bluntly threw it out there. I said, “Ok, I want to come here! What happens now?” The coaches and my parents started to laugh at me, because they could feel all of the weight lift off of my shoulders. The meeting ended with hugs and handshakes, and we started to walk out of the gym. I took a long look at the court, and imagined my first game as a Santa Clara Bronco. The coaches walked us out to our car. As we were pulling away from the campus, my parents both started crying. They told me how proud they were of me, and I was overjoyed because I knew they would have made the same decision.