One trip that I went on that I feel left a huge impact on my life was the trip I went on with my family to American International College (AIC). I feel that this road trip was important because of how much my life was beginning to change from when the trip started to its end and where I am now. In the time I’ve been living after the trip, I have felt a series of different emotions and I have been left with many questions about myself and where I go from here. Therefore, I feel that this is an acceptable trip to share with many others, in the case that they have had or will have an experience similar to my own.
It was back on September 5th, 2009 and my family and I were finishing packing up the rest of the luggage and stuff we were bringing with us for the trip. That was the day we were to go and drop my brother off at his college. Even though my brother’s college is only three or so hours away, the drive to my brother’s school was a long and silent one. We had to drive in two separate cars because of all the stuff we had to bring up to put in his dorm.
After the long day of running around in a town we didn’t know much about, we finally got to head back to the Holiday Inn hotel in Holyoke to rest. All the while, I kept to myself waiting for the next day when we were to fully move my brother into his dorm. When we went back to unpack the rest of his belongings, I felt that everything was rather hectic and overwhelming. I casually helped my family with a few minor things, but all the while I was left in a state of listlessness because I couldn’t help but be unable to adjust to what was going on. My brother was going to be living three hours away from my family in a town he’s never been in and I couldn’t help but wonder what was going through his head the whole entire time. Will he be able to adjust to these new surroundings? Will he enjoy being here? I can’t help but wonder questions like these, even now. The whole entire ride back, I couldn’t help but try to conjure up some type of emotion to explain how I was feeling at that moment, but was left with no such luck.
It is only now that I sit here and wonder what my life is going to be like from now on. I don’t necessarily feel like an only child, even though I’m the only one living in the household now, and the fact that my brother isn’t here hasn’t exactly impacted me in any way that is overly negative. However, I can’t help but find myself listening to the song that I consider to be my brother and my song (since it was a running “inside” joke between us at first) “Let Me Be Myself” by 3 Doors Down. Not only does that song explain how deeply mutual my brother and I felt about things, but it also expresses how much I want to move forward in life and go on just as my brother has. I am determined to reach the next step in life and prove myself deserving of some worth. I truly believe that I do not feel sad or lonely about my brother because I still have that song to hold on to. With that song, I am able to not only remember the exciting, funny times I had alone with my brother, but to look ahead at the other many wonderful things I have yet to experience. I truly wish to find myself in the world as we know it and I’m willing to go to all extremes to live out my life, always looking forward to the next thing to come my way.
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