January 2, 2010. The hardest trip I ever had to take. The trip was to my hometown Poughkeepsie NY. I never had been so scared to go in my life. I used to love going to NY to see my family, but this time it was different. I was missing one family member. The key to our family, the apple of my eye wasn’t going to be there. My grandmother had just passed away, and the trip was for her funeral. She died December 30, 2009 at 2:11 a.m. I would never forget that phone call I got from my uncle saying there trying to revive your grandmother, and hearing my nana cry in the background. I cried everyday up until the day I had to make my trip to NY. I fought so hard because I didn’t want to go, but I know if I didn’t. I would regret it. The trip was so quick because I know I didn’t want to be there, but when I finally got there my hometown seemed so dim. I felt as though Poughkeepsie felt that lose of my grandmother and they were sad too. When I got there I tried to take my mind off of the reason I was there, but I couldn’t. I had tried sleeping, eating, but they just seemed to make me depressed. When I seen my nana I felt so bad, she was the last one to see my Grandmother, and tried to save her, but she couldn’t. All I can do was hug her, but she pushed the affectionate part away because she was so hurt, and didn’t know what to do. Many days had gone by while I watched my aunts and sister put my grandmother’s obituary together. I was still in disbelief that she was gone, so I thought nothing of it. I realized that losing people in my life hurts so much, and I didn’t want to go through this state of depression ever again. The day of the funeral, I had to realize that she was really gone. That was my eye opener, and it hurt. Even having flashbacks hurt because I just wanted to hear her say she loves me again. I believe my grandmother is in a better place looking down on her “Mrs. Sue” with the biggest smile. Everything I do now is for her, and that trip made me realize that I can get through anything no matter how hard it is.
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